PITY BOY LYRICS

things still left to say

another year, already
how you hoped that it would come
all the days and weeks unfolding as we buttoned up
our coats and headed home
but what’s a home?
another place you never go
another space
nobody knows
the way you are when you’re alone

and I’m alone and you’re alone again
this year I’m alone and you’re alone again

but there are things still left to say
I’ve got phrases, I’ve got phrases
there are things still left to say (anyway)

do you miss me when I’m not around? because you don’t see me when I’m here
I’m like a ghost of myself already
if I could, I would

disappear but I’m still here and you’re still here

we’re all still here

and there are things still left to say - I’ve got phrases, I’ve got phrases
there are things still left to say -
are you afraid?

what are you afraid of, anyway?

should I explain myself?
I’d rather read the dictionary!
why does everybody else feel closer to me than I can
feel to them was my reticence always necessary?
do you really know me well?
do you think that we are friends?
are we friends?

...there are things still left to say
I’ve got phrases, I’ve got phrases, I’ve got phrases I’ve got phrases, I’ve got phrases, I’ve got phrases

it’s not my job

don’t send me an email
I don’t want to hear it
don’t blame me
for things that
I didn’t do
don’t leave me
a note where
you think I will see it
what makes you
think I want something
from you?

because if I have to
I’ll kill off
my better self
I promise you

that I will
I promise you that I will

you know, if I have to I’ll kill off my better self

because it’s not my job to make you well
it’s not my job
to make you well

some people lash out
some people shrink
I think that it’s too soon
to know which you will be
I turn it all inwards
(they say that’s what makes you sad)
but I’m not a kid now
you’re not from the past

so if I have to
I’ll kill off my better self
I promise you that I will
I promise you that I will

because it’s not my job to make you well
it’s not my job
to make you well

don’t know why I do it
I’m a bird with a broken wing
I need something to care about
I need someone to care for me
do you want some company?
do you need some comforting?
I will take care of you
but not if it’s bad for me

you know if I have to
I’ll kill off my better self
you gotta protect yourself
you gotta protect yourself

you know if you have to
kill off your better self because
it’s not my job to make you well
it’s not your job
to make me well
it’s not your job
it’s not my job
to make
you well

see me

I fall down
I get up
I’ve been here so long feels like nothing anymore
I’ll think of you
don’t brush me off
both got bruises
on our knees
don’t waste your worries
not on me

I don’t belong
though it helps to play along
why can’t they see me when I’m right here?

when I get back
high in the bath
let the water cover me
down my back and in my beak

I’m free at last
but where I’m clipped
it don’t bother me a bit when I don’t
stop to think of it

I won’t be long
when I am home, I am still gone
why can’t they see me - why can’t they see me - why can’t they see ? when I’m right here

and at the show
when I’m in the crowd
you can’t lick my wounds for me the ones that grin
and bear their teeth just put me down but I’ll be around mouth the words that I can’t say
I wish that I would fade away

but that don’t last long
wait until tomorrow
it will be gone (it will)

whycan’ ttheyseemewhycan’ theyseemewhycan’ ttheyseemewhycan’ ttheyseemewhycan’ th eyseemewhycan’ttheyseeme why can’t they see me why can’t they see me why can’t they see

I was right there

odds

we’ll get high at the waffle house,
it doesn’t matter what we talk about
“did you sweat through your sheets last night or did you bleach the blood out of them?”

you’ve been trying to control yourself
what’s a boundary if you cannot break it?
I’ve been wondering that myself
because despite my better nature

all that I want is for someone
to take advantage of me, I’ll bet
you don’t know any other way

but it doesn’t matter what I want
another night/nothing at all
because it always ends the same
what do the odds say?

let’s just meet at the restaurant
I’ll only be a couple hours late
it’s not that I didn’t want to go
I don’t know what I meant to say

I’ve been praying to a god
that I’ve mocked since I was young
because I can hold a grudge so long
it leads me on and on and on and

all that I want is for someone to take advantage of me
I’ll bet you don’t know any other way
it doesn’t matter what I want
why should it matter what I want?

you know it always ends the same
what do the odds say?

21 to the waffle house
I keep a jack in my back pocket
think you’ve got me figured out
we have more than you think in common

I’ve been trying to control myself
no pound of flesh
if my heart’s not pumping

I know, nobody gives a shit
well, you can’t say I’m not adjusting

all that I want is for someone to take advantage of me
because I don’t know any other way
it doesn’t matter what I want, it’s never mattered what I want
because it always ends the same
what do the odds say?

splinter

splinter off in my hand
it’s really not that bad
no, it’s the best that it’s been
you know I get so sensitive

besides I let it get in
I opened up my skin
no use in blaming no one
now infection’s setting in

you didn’t mean it
you didn’t mean it
you didn’t mean it

splinter off in my neck
but it’s better than the rest
you were sweet, I undressed
said you didn’t mind
the mess back when I needed
no one so it’s me that changed my mind

who could hold you at fault?
you even warned me at the time

you didn’t mean it
you didn’t mean it
you didn’t mean it

splinter off from myself
I try and try again
and yet it never seems to stick
I guess I’m stuck with it then

I don’t expect you to call now
it’s not that kind of thing
that little ache in my chest
just where the wood was puncturing

you didn’t mean it
you didn’t mean it
you didn’t mean it

if you didn’t mean it then I didn’t mean it if I didn’t mean it that’s a relief

say you didn’t mean it
I’ll say I didn’t mean it
I’ll say it didn’t mean that much to me.

black coffee

black coffee
early in the morning
wake up tangled in
your arms I do not mean
to cause alarm
but I could never
give you

more than this
‘cause this is
all I’ve got
another fucked up caveat
I got so high that I forgot
that I’m no better than I seem

some words I’ll never try to say:
I loved you more and more each day
the way you’d sway your hips
as you put your favorite records on

but me? I even hate
the way I breathe
I hate the grass
I hate the trees
the way my hair blows in the breeze
whatever isn’t cruel to me

double my meds and stay in bed
I can’t feel anything again
my face, my arms, my common sense

I never should have let you in
but now is now
then is then
who could it really hurt again?
who could it hurt?

black coffee
early in the morning
wake up tangled up
alone

I do not mean
to cause alarm
in fact most days it’s preferable
cuz this is all that I have got I’m trying
not to fuck it up
I’m trying

not to get stuck

did you get what you wanted?

did they ask what you did?
did you want to respond?
do you ever get the feeling, lately
that it may be that you’ve gotten it all wrong

when it feels more like a war
i've been choosing sides
just like any other guy
what did you want it for ?

god, I hope I get a gift bag

or a little of my faith back (but I’d never ask you)

did you get what you wanted, or at least did you want what you got?
did you get what you wanted
or at least, did you want what you got?

don’t tell me you did not
like you never had a choice

and there's a lot of pain
but nothing like you could imagine today
still, you feel it in your veins
and with every step you make
and with every breath you take

that the city's gonna break

but maybe only take what you will it to away
and i've been playing games
i've been faking praise
just like any other saint

that ever asked you:

did you get what you wanted?
or at least, did you want what you got?
did you get what you wanted
or at least, did you want what you got?

don't tell me you did not

like you never had a choice
like how I could just be gone
how I could move along
no one would wonder why no one would wonder

did you get what you wanted or at least
did you want what you got

I don’t want to

some people have commitment issues
heard through the grapevine
that you moved into
a whole new life
pay your bills on time
not month to month like some other guys
I’ll never be like that
I can’t tell you why

and you say no
and you do yoga
and you don’t feel complicated about it
when you go out
when you come home
it’s never out of need

I say yes
and I’m a mess
and I don’t know what I don’t know
yet when I go out when I come home
I only feel relieved

but I don’t want to so I won’t

I don’t want to so I won’t

I don’t want to, or I don’t need to, or I’m not going to at least not now

some people have commitment issues
last time I saw you still only refused to make amends

to all your friends
don’t you think
you would feel better then? I’ll never be like that. (that’s what I tell myself)

when I said “no,” guess I didn’t mean it
tell all of the ones that made me repeat it:

if it didn’t matter if I didn’t mind we can call it fine

and you say yes
and you’re direct one day I hope
that I can be like that
then it won’t matter then I won’t mind
we can call it all fine but until then

I don’t want to, so I won’t
I don’t want to, so I won’t
I don’t want to, or I don’t need to, or I’m not going to at least not now

some people have commitment issues
heard through the grapevine that you moved into
a whole new life

salt flats (take it back)

finish it later
there's a lot on your plate
we've been driving around
we've been aimless for days

and I can't feel a thing
but it's better this way
when the water receded
it left salt in its place

it can't take it back (take it back)

you've got salt in your hair
I've got salt on my face
you rub salt in my wounds
then you lick it away

how I wish that I knew
any easier way
you could season your words
so you like how they taste

when you take it back (take it back)

they say hurt people
hurt people
yes, I think I know the type
and I may not leave
until you're done with me
but I am not coming over tonight
so, I guess that is something

and I try to stay focused
but it's not what they said
27 is 11
I’m just on different meds

and you're glued to the screen
trying to guess how it ends
I'll give you a hint it won't
hurt like it did if you take it back (take it back)

and they say hurt people
hurt people
yes, I've known it
all my life
if I do not leave
then it feels good to me
then I am not going to fix it tonight but
there's always tomorrow

now I can't feel
a thing but it's better
this way when the water receded
left salt in its place
and there's salt on your hands
you can't wash it away
but the salt flats are endless If I could I would

stay

well, fuck

well, fuck me, was it everything you needed?
did it make you feel complete or did it make you feel completed or did
you lose just like every other time you’ve lost
you’ve got a god
you’ve got a boss
no matter what you call it
it’s all the same
the same
the same

fuck you, but I’ll do the things you want me to
I’ll speak only when spoken to
don’t even know I don’t like you
but I know

that it’s not the way it’s supposed to be
so, call it one big family
but families are fucked up all the same
the same
the same

I don’t wish to be overthinking this
it’s not the only thing I missed while I was asleep

and in the morning when I wake
I push my doubts around my plate
and then I eat what I have been given to eat
because it’s all the same to me

fuck me, was she everything you needed?
did he make you feel complete
in all the places I’ve depleted
by now - I know that I’ve gotten

way too old for this
so pull the trigger, reminisce
then take your pick
or don’t! it’s all the same
the same
the same

but I don’t wish to be overthinking this
it’s not the only thing I missed while I was asleep
and in the morning when I wake, I push my doubts
around my plate
and then I eat
what I have been given to eat
you know, it’s all the same to me

fuck you

....

fuck you
I let you
even when you’re cruel come over
drunk when you want me to you say roll over
and I do
but I know by now
that it’s not the way
it’s supposed to be
and people have complexities
but that’s not fucking you
you’re just the same
the same
the same

but I don’t wish to be overthinking this
(it’s not the only thing I missed when I was asleep)

gotta go

push a tack in the wall
or let it fall to the floor
I don't care anymore
I don't care anymore

so you get mean when you're sad
so I still have what I have
It doesn’t bother me much
it’s just the way that it was

but what if it were not?
what if I see you on the block? I won't stop
I won’t

you put a tack in your hand
and then you close up
your fist you say I want it like this
‘cause I don't try to resist

I want to take off my skin
I want to leave it behind
then you can breathe out my mouth
then you can see through my eyes

I want to take off my skin
I want to leave it behind
so you can do what you want to
in the meantime

but what if you did not
what if I see you on the block
maybe I won’t stop
maybe I won't

I put a tack in myself
and then I table it for later
doesn't matter what you wanted
only matters what you gave her

I want to make myself smaller
or disappear on the spot
doesn't matter what you asked for
only matters what you got

or maybe even not
maybe I’ll see you on the block
my friends beg me to stop
but you say
all you wanna do is talk
I guess I can’t stop
or I won’t
I won’t

maybe I’ll wait

I am waiting for the sun to block itself out
I have been told that it won’t happen
for awhile I feel sensitive and old and I am
ten no I am twenty four
I don’t know what I do it for

I wish I could write something
to convince you not to go

but I don’t know
anyone or anything
to do the right thing when they’re alone
except it feels like I’ve been trying
to be better since I’ve known
what better was
are you better off alone?

do you suspect they never love you
just themselves reflected off
I don’t know

maybe I’ll wait, maybe I’ll stay another year or two
okay maybe I’ll wait, maybe I’ll stay another year

I won’t ever get you back
I can’t even kill a cockroach
you got it with a broom
at least he hid inside his room
“I am as useless as they come”
are you used to all this talk yet?
you say I don’t like myself
but I’ve been trying

to reverse it

do you know anyone or anything
to do the right thing when they’re alone?
because it feels like I’ve been

trying to be better but I know it’s what it was
and always better off alone

I doubt that you could love me
maybe yourself reflected off, but I don’t know

maybe I’ll wait, maybe I’ll stay another year or two
okay maybe I’ll wait, maybe I’ll stay another year

but I’ll keep looking
for you
another year
nothing’s different or new
still, I’ve got things that I wanted to do

so I’ll keep
looking for you