Overseas Now
you clean the bathroom
on your hands and on your knees
wearing latex gloves
that you borrow from her
I don’t know what you think you’re doing
but you’re doing it for free
do you know even what you’re doing anymore?

I know it’s not my business
and I know it’s not my right
but the expression on your face
looks so awkward and contrived

but I know it’s not my business
and I know it’s not my right
and I don’t know what to call it,
but I wouldn’t call it

oh, I’m a rising star, I’m a sinking ship
you’re a work of art, something delicate
you’re my mother’s son
you’re my favorite song
I’m the things you hide
when you turn the lights back on

I’m a one, or two, or three page explanation
you’re a getaway vacation
that I hoped would bring salvation
(it did not)
and it’s killing me
you were the only person
who could understand
the things I think inside my head
and somehow you forgot

I dated Audrey Hepburns
just to be Paul Varjack
and I picked up all the paychecks
but I never called them back
I guess I wasn’t fooling anybody
but I never knew myself
as well as I knew how to act

and I know it’s not my business
and I know it’s not my right
but you crawl into my bed
in the middle of the night
and you ask me not to leave you
but you don’t ask me to stay
and I never can say no
when you look at me like that

I’m a rising star, I’m a sinking ship
you’re a work of art, something delicate

you’re my mother’s son
no, you’re my favorite song
I’m the things you hide when you turn the lights back on

I’m a one, or two or three page explanation
that you wouldn’t take the time
to give to anyone at all

I’m a one, or two or three page explanation
that you wouldn’t take the time
to give to anyone
anyone at all

are you overseas now?
with the drugs
and all the men
or are you dead
or hiding in your loft
behind your papers and your pens
just how we met
I never did believe a word they said:
the bluest blues
the reddest reds

I never did believe a word they said
they made it up
even the end

up all night
you don’t call
I don’t mind
it’s just another roadblock
I will re-route

and when we speak,
I’m not there
it’s not your fault but,
there’s nothing you can say now
I found you out

though it’s not a fair
side I’m on now

got to the party around two
I was not looking for you
but there you were
heard your lover’s in DC
what’s that got to do with me?
I’m not sure

what is luck?
baby, I don’t know
made it to your room
now I made it to your door

now I made it to your bed
and you say it’s alright
I’m not gonna leave
so I guess I’d better hide

killer music! killer food!
killer care I have for you
I swear I do,
I swear I do

if friends were dollars
I’d be rich
but no one even cares a bit
I wish they did

but what are friends?
baby, I don’t know
maybe I could do
without a few of them
no, I’m not alright
but the party never ends
I’m not gonna leave
so we’d better make amends

on the road
that’s where I’ll be
you don’t have to look for me
I never leave

and of your lover in DC
if that lover, it were me
wouldn’t mean a thing

what is far?
baby, I don’t know
sleeping in my car
when you call me on the phone
and you tell me to come home
because things could be alright
I don’t want to lie
so I’d better say goodnight

no, it’s not a fair
side I’m on now
but I know it’s not a fair side you’re on now
still, it’s not a fair side I’m on now
but I know it’s not a fair
side you’re on now

I can’t speak for anybody else
I only represent myself
but if I had to say something,
I’d say this party really sucks!

and if you wanted to come here
then why did you bring me along?
now I’m sitting in this corner
pretending I know this song

am I saying the wrong thing?
am I wearing the wrong thing?
am I saying the wrong thing while wearing the wrong thing??
oh no

you had me on watch
I wish that you’d stop
I’ve been knocking on wood
then there’s me
in my worried shell
you know me so well
(but not like you should)

now you are sitting there
your hair looks just like Gwen Stefani’s
you are wearing your tight jeans
that you liked more before you met me
but I never said a thing!
I bit and bound my tongue!
now you’re making out with someone else in front of me

do you think I’m dumb and am I
saying the wrong thing?
am I wearing the wrong thing?
am I saying the wrong thing while wearing the wrong thing?
oh no

you had me on watch
I wish that you’d stop
I’ve been knocking on wood
then there’s me
in my foolish shell
you know me so well
but not like you should
and I would, if you would only ask
so, why don’t you ask?

we usually always get along
I usually only speak in song
if only you could speak in song
then for sure we’d get along
‘cause I am just the same as you
and I get just as restless too
but it’s about the altitude
not who is climbing up

it’s about the altitude not who is climbing up
it’s about the altitude not who is climbing up,
it’s about the altitude not who is climbing up
it’s about the altitude not who is climbing up
it’s about the altitude not who is climbing up
it’s about the altitude not who is climbing up
but I would never take you to a party if it sucked and that sucks.

I heard your heart's about the size of your fist
but that's not true, it's just a myth
it's your brain that's small
it's your heart that's big
and I saw it
in an exhibit, baby
in the promised land
where your big blue eyes
and your artist’s hands
were with your small intestines
and your crooked grin
on the table
oh me, oh my!
never ever thought that I
would see the day you'd sacrifice
the things that made you feel alive

now you are my zombie bride-
with zombie hair and zombie eyes
and zombie hips and zombie lips
that I can't bring myself to kiss
I hate this, don't you move to New York
you'll jump off of the bridge again
and I will never see you
oh me, oh my
you're not much different
when alive
you never compromised
no, you couldn't empathize
and now that you're so dead and all
it all just feels so literal
so you can really have my brain
you can really have my heart: it's yours
if you want it
yours,
if you want it
I hate this, don't you move to New York
you'll jump off of the bridge again
and I will never see you
I take it that we're moving too slowly
got a little bit lucky last night
you are a beautiful
inhuman being
I follow your un-life
from behind my screen
and I try to believe it
but I can't deny
even the dead don't sleep alone
(c’mon) show me the tissue of your bones
and your hands and your feet
and the people that you meet
and the places that you eat
and how you act in front of me
and the way you wear your hair
I swear, I think I understand
the things that make me who I am
and there's no master plan
I'd know
oh me, oh my!
now I'm on the other side
of the world
there are so many
zombie boys and girls
with empty chests and hollow eyes
no, I can't help what I like
you look my way
I start to sigh
who cares if you are dead inside?
I don't.
doesn't mean that you can't love
(you say) I hate this, don't you move to New York
you'll jump off of that bridge again
with all your brand new undead friends
and
you won't talk to me
but you'll write me into songs
and maybe I don't want you here
but I don't want you gone!
besides I'm trying (and I'm trying and I'm trying and I'm trying and I'm trying and I'm trying) I've been
trying (I've been trying I've been trying I've been trying I've been trying I've been trying I've been trying)
to live

winter is over
I think I got closure
I mean, I got closer
than I was before

all of my lessons
so painfully sober
you prefer
learning them
the night before
yes, you do

everything I know
I owe to perspective
it's not as if you
weren't dancing all night

everything you know
you owe to forgiveness
like, if you don't call me
I'm not gonna die
alright?
if you don't call me
I’m not gonna cry
no, I ain't

but 1, 2, 3
1, 2, 3
I don't mean a word of it
counting my breaths
and the steps to your house
1- 2- 3- 1- 2- 3
I don't mean a word of it
wonder how long until
you figure me out
or not

winter is over
I wish you were sober
or happy or different
at all since I've left
but every lesson I had to learn over
I learned in the end
when I learned for myself
no one else

1, 2, 3
1, 2, 3
I don't mean a word of it
counting my breaths
and the steps to your house
1- 2- 3- 1- 2- 3
I don't mean a word of it
wonder how long ‘til
you figure me out
or not
or not

winter is cold now
and all that I know
is how love disappoints
if you dare live it out

good then, I know
what it takes to grow old
so I'm going back home
I'm not leaving the house

or: winter was hard
we drove fast, we went far
stayed as long as we had to
didn't come back for weeks
when we returned
we went straight to the bar
to an unfamiliar bed
and uncomfortable sheets
and dear,
since I'm not home
I won't mind if you leave

one– two- three - I didn't mean..
who said you could
count on me
counting my breaths
counting my breaths
onetwothree I didn't mean
who said you could
count on me
counting my breaths

I don't mind, you can move to Brooklyn
I don't mind, you can move to Brooklyn
with me
and I wouldn't mind
leave now! you can leave your dresser
leave now! you can leave your suitcase
behind
I wanna see you tonight

I don't mind you can follow me
from point A to point B
through all the funny little phases
of my funny little life

and I wouldn't mind
I'll leave a light for you at night
come over right after your flight
only you're not the same

so now
I don't mind,
you can move to Brooklyn
I don't mind, you can move to Brooklyn
when I'm gone!
baby, 'cause it's only fair

I don't care what Dan Savage tells you
I won't care what your
new friends have to say
when I'm not here

plus I know you're gonna follow me
from point A to point B
through all the broken little stages
of my broken little heart

if I should break your heart
if it should break
it was you that changed
it was you
because I’m always the same

how strange that you're in the drugstore
how strange that you're at this party with me
and I don't know what it means

typical that you’ve left your date
but how strange that you're
walking up to me
so tell me, how have you been?

I don't mind,
now you're asking me
what happened to the city we knew
when it was just me and you

you robbed it
you broke it
it had to move
to get away from you
you robbed it, you broke it, it had to move
maybe I'd better move

5,771
it’s been two and one quarter weeks
since the week I was first gone
it’s not that long

and when I get to you,
make everything alright
don’t want to have to fight
to hold you late at night
but I just might

now the voices in my head are loud
I’ve said too much
can’t face this crowd
I cannot put the words back
in my mouth

how I hoped that you
would understand
when it comes from you
it’s twice as bad
you’re the worst I ever had
got the worst I ever had
out of me

out of me,
out of me,
nothing to eat

so-
happy new year,
Washington
I never learned
to hold my tongue
I wish I could
I would play dumb
with you

and all these nights
I’ve spent alone
in front of you
I should have known
the things we pay
to get back what we own

5,772
it will be at least another week
until I make it back to you
and if I do
if I do

we can fashion a rope
from all of my regrets
how I saw you
in every person that I met
I’ll let you tie me to the bed
to the bed

‘cause I’m not as strong
as I am scared
I’ll sit for you
in the wooden chair
you don’t have to hold me down
I’ll help you cut my hair myself
out of you,
out of you,
there’s nothing sweet

happy new year, Washington
I never learned to hold my tongue
I wish I had
I would play dumb
I would

all these nights you’ve spent alone
in front of me
I wish I’d known
the things we give
to pay back what we owe

a Folsom man
with just one fear
I don’t want to die
with no one knowing
I was here
I still hear that in my ears
I still hear that in my ears

so Massachusetts,
and then New York
it’s gonna take
a little work
to get back to the place I was
before

5,773
finally
out of the eater
you got
something you could eat
and
was it me?

tie me to the rock
tie me to the rock

see what
I’ve got

happy new year,
Washington
I never learned
to hold my tongue
I tried
so hard
but now I’m done
with it

come on now, Emily
you ought to know
if the place that you went
is not where you meant to go
if it's awkward and weird
if it's hostile and cold
or something I said
well, I thought you were over me?

come on down, Emily
see the new me
I've been quietly counting
and writing in three
tell me, is it too loud or too fast or obscene?
sometimes I think you just like to be mean

'cause you
you don't care about anything
I don't understand
because I'm nothing like that
while I am trying to discern
all my pride from my interest
oh, what is the difference
at all!?

you moved to the city and cut off your hair
then your confidence was like a hat you could wear
and you wore it even when nobody was there
you wore it even when nobody was there
but me

come on down, emily
see the new me
not quite as different as you'd like it to be
maybe I didn't take the GREs
but I know how I feel
and I know what I need
not like you

you don't care
about anything!
you don't care about anything!
you don’t care

but me, I know what you're not
so I watch you with it from afar
'cause I want what I got
and you got what you want
and me, I know what you are not

'cause you, you don't care about anything
or at least you don't show it
and I'm something like that
but I can't help but discern
all my pride
your resistance
and there is a difference there
a difference

I’m hungover
it’s valentine’s day morning
what a perfect day to continue my courting
of you
we’ve been dating for so long
I love you
and in the local drugstore I feel a bit like moses
walking through a red sea of greeting cards and roses
if I’d only known what you were up to
or who

cause I got you the paper, I got you the news
I got you some of that odwalla green juice
that you seemed to like cause you know how I like you
but haven’t you seen the paper haven’t you seen the news
now there’s something I’ve got to say and I’ve got to
say it to you
what do you send when flowers just won’t do?

let’s stop cheating on each other
this valentine’s day

I came over to borrow a loofah
how was I to know you would be schtupping her?
I guess it’s kind of weird and maybe too soon for ya
I know
don’t get me wrong I mean I know you’re an aries
and you’ve got commitment issues and you get kinda scary off your meds
I think I like it but I like it because
on some level I like to create emotional distractions in my life to prevent myself from dealing with my real issues

let’s stop cheating on each other
‘cause the community
isn’t that big
and they will always find out
let’s stop cheating on each other
and just break up right now
I mean, I’m not even thirty yet

I’m not even 25, or 24 or 23
but I’ll stop cheating on you if you stop cheating on me
don’t get me wrong I’m not opposed to being poly
but I think that we should talk before you go and screw somebody else!
stop cheating on me!

let’s stop cheating on each other
let’s stop cheating on each other
let’s stop cheating on each other
oh, and happy valentine’s day